Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
3pm strippers are depressing
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
