sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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