I think my vagina is haunted
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
