I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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