A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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