Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
