they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
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