that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize