I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
