Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
