We're facebook friends in real life
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
it's great music for shaving your balls
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
