My brain says no but my pants say off.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
