he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
