Little spoons don't ask big questions
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
How does it feel to date your dad?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
