Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
