You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
