the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
