i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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