Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I forgot wine drunk hurts
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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