you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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