how can u be prego again
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
