Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Cover your peen. We're going out.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
