What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
