did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
