happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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