She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
