Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I need a beard to bite.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
