There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize