My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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