pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
