Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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