Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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