Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
