Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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