sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
