So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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