I am spending my child support on dildos
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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