It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize