They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Damn victory sex feels great
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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