I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
