i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
PANTIES FOUND
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