we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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