Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
