this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
