that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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