i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I am available for nakedness
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
