how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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