Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
