Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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