It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
