Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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