Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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