seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
