new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize