i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
