On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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