my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Panties = found
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