Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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