dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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