You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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