I bet he comes in French.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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