; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
